Heavy Hearted

Heavy Hearted

Today, I'm feeling conflicted.



 I hear the happy, beautiful voices of my sons and their cousin playing in the bedroom.  That makes my heart fill with tenderness and joy. 




I'm halfway watching a romantic comedy.   That amuses me and fills my heart with whimsy. 








I'm browsing on the web (Facebook, mostly) and reading so much that concerns me.


http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alyssadivers

A little girl in Houston is recovering from a leg amputation in her continuing battle against a rare, scarey bone cancer.  That grieves me and fills my heart with awe as I read about her courage.

 Illegal coup in Paraguay
This irks me and fills my heart with dread.

http://www.aljazeera.com/news/americas/2012/06/201262383641605671.html

An adoptive American family in Ghana falsely accused of child trafficking and imprisoned. Their 6 children placed in foster care.

That angers me and fills my heart with terror. 
http://themoghadamsjourneytoafrica.blogspot.com/








All of it drives my heart to it's knees.  Life is all of it.  At once.  And there's nothing I can do about any of it - not even the good stuff - except take it to the throne room of Heaven where my Father can take care of it all. 

Join me there?

It's Been Awhile

Easter Sunday, 2012

We've been in the U.S. of A. for 6 months and 2 days now. What a joy it has been! We've traveled all over the south east sharing what God has been doing in and thru us over the past 5 years. We've had a great time with friends and especially the Holt side of our family. Our boys have made friends and become accustomed to an American way of life - complete with big yellow school buses, Sunday afternoons at Grandma's house & baseball! 
We're closing in on one of the more somber aspects of this sojourner's life we lead...another transition.  We've been in NW GA with Dave's family for a little more than half of our Stateside Assignment.  As soon as Eli finishes 3rd grade in the public school here, we'll pack up and head to SW TX for the remainder of our time in North America.  Transition is never easy and we covet your prayers as we readjust.

Meanwhile, we'll continue to soak up the beauty of the mountains and polish off our southern drawls as we create memories and prepare for summertime in Texas and reaquainting ourselves with Texmex food and bluebonnets!

PS - I'm gonna try to do better with keeping up-to-date here!



Christmas 2011



We had a great Christmas celebrating with my family in TX.  It has been incredible to introduce Nico to his extended family and marvel with everyone at what a great kid Eli is!

Today (Dec 27) was Nico's birthday and we had his first all out birthday party! It was SO MUCH FUN!

Eli's 3rd bday

 It is so neat to see how God brings our lives around full circle.  We had Eli's very first Holt Birthday party to celebrate his 3rd year of life and the creation of our family when we adopted him at my brother's gymnastics gym. 

(Shameless plug: Alpha Omega Gymnastics www.alphaomegagym.net)

Nico's 3rd bday

Today, we celebrated Nico's 3rd year of life and introduced him to my family - at my brother's gym. 

   

Holt Family Christmas

Real life is going to bite Nico hard tomorrow when he doesn't get to open any presents! (We opened gifts w/ Dave's family last Sat., my immediate family on Sunday, w/ extended family on Monday and his bday presents today!) He was so stinkin cute as he is finally old enough to really enjoy the gifts. At the first round he would receive each gift with a smile and look at it while saying, "Oh my GOODNESS!!" and then hold his cheeks and shake his head in wonder after opening it while repeating, "Oh my Goodness!!"

Christmas Day

Sunday, he'd take the gift with a grin, look at me and when I asked him, "what is it?" he'd giggle and say, "Let's see."

McCarter Family Christmas

By Monday's extended get together, he'd respond to the same question from me with "MINE!!!" (even before opening it!)


 

Nico's 3rd Birthday party

And, today after opening each gift he'd say, "More!?!"

We're staying here in TX an extra day because we UNDER-estimated grandparental gift giving...and we have to rent a UHaul trailer to get it back to GA! Dad's truck doesn't have a hitch so he and Dave will be taking care of that tomorrow while I try to bring some semblance of order to the chaos! We plan to leave Thursday, and depending on how the traveling goes....we MAY try to make the trip all in one day (that's 16 hours in the car w/ 2 small boys and 2 GIANT dogs....)  We'll see how that goes!

     We've had quite a time this past month. Thank you for praying us through. We're still waiting on adoption paperwork. We're still encouraging our national partners who've walked alongside us and taken on the leadership roles for small groups and churches-in-formation God had opened over the last years. we're still packing the house and setting our hearts toward a much needed time with family, friends and YOU back in the States. We've had ups and downs and we're working on keeping our focus on the Lord and staying true to the task He's given us here in Northern Argentina. We're learning more about what our task will be when we return as Catalytic Connectors between U.S. churches and Argentine churches allied in the purpose of pushing back the darkness and opening new works in places where there right now this is little or no evangelical presence.

     We ask you to continue praying for us specifically in the area of the adoption paperwork. We've been told that our file is complete and only lacks the judge's final review before she finalizes our permanent guardianship of Nico. Just before the judicial winter vacation began, the judge told us that it would take her 10-15 days to finalize our situation and today is day 15. Our attorney will be at the judge's office early - hopefully before anyone else with the hope of speaking with her personally to understand what she is planning in our case. Marcela, our attorney, will also assess the possibility of a meeting between us and the judge personally in order to present our urgency face-to-face.

      Please pray specifically:

* Pray for Marcela to be able to meet with the judge and then have clear insight and the right words to say as she speaks with her.

* Pray for the judge, Beatriz, to be willing to listen and moved with compassion to FINISH our paperwork. (we have two open petitions in the file permission to travel to the States and permanent guardianship. If granted the guardianship, we won't need the permission)

* Pray for us - if we have the chance to speak #1 that we will have EXCELLENT Spanish communication skills #2 that we will present ourselves in such a way that God is glorified.

* Pray for Juan and Ramona working in Colonia Derqui - there have been some setbacks there as Louisa has been pressured into no longer hosting the Bible study at her home. Pray for a new meeting place to open and for Juan and Ramona as they continue to reach out in Jesus' name to this very dark settlement.

* Pray for Pastor Hector in Esquina and the team of hunters who will be working together in September. Pray that that David will be able to help them organize their time together for God's glory

     Thank you. Truly, your partnership with us through prayer is essential to our ministry.

 

Today, we learned that we will not go home for our Stateside Assignment when we were planning to - again.  This takes us into two months behind schedule.  It'll definitely be worth it because the reason we're running late is due to court stuff in Nico's adoption.  Here's what Dave has had to say about it:

So, what can we learn from this??



Welcome Home, Nicholas David!



Many of you have been praying for us during these past few months as we have encountered some pretty difficult issues with court proceedings for the adoption of our youngest son, Nico. As a result of the latest delay that will most certainly keep us here in Argentina for another month, someone commented about the lesson in all of this and how one day we may or may not know the reason God has allowed for so many delays and detours in the process. I say delays because we were supposed to begin our Stateside assignment on June 28, and we are still here. This puts everything in a real bind, as we don't have defenite info we need to plan for purchasing plane tickets, packing the house, saying goodbye to friends and handing over to our national partners all the church plants we have begun recently. It's complicated, uncomfortable, and just plain hard to deal with when everything should be coming to a close, yet we don't know when. Also, we only budgeted ministry funds for six months, and we are now almost two months past that, so this delay causes everyone in our support system to scramble to find the funds we need to still be here this long past our original departure date. Like I said, its complicated, and for many folks. The following is some thoughts I have been wrestling with recently regarding all that has happened and what it all means. I hope you enjoy it and maybe God will use it to reveal something to you that you can take with you and grow in your walk with Him.

I still don't understand, but don't question anymore, why we had to leave Eli in Ukraine and return to Argentina without him, then go back 30 days later to finish the process and take him home with us. It did nothing but reinforce the abandonment scars that Eli already had from being abandoned by his birth family. The translator later told us that his first words to us on the second trip were, "Where have you been!?"

I think mainly the lessons to be learned here are for Alisha and myself. I know I have a tendency to feel "entitled" in some situations, and when things don't go my way, like all the delays of this process, I have lost my cool and really had some discussion times with God, not to mention becoming extrememly short fused with my wife and kids. I confess I've even fantasized about how satisfying it would be to slicine car tires at the court house, maybe even tossing a grenade througe the judge's office window. Well, not really, but I have not handled hurry up and wait too good this past two years. Somewhere there's a line one crosses that seperates doing all we can do within reason and then on the other side of it is trying to do all that is God's responsibility. When we get on that side of the line, worry, frustration, and disappointment are a sure thing cause no way can we accomplish the work that is God's to do.

The week we were suspected of child trafficing and the investigation was opened in federal court, God sent scripture to me three times by three different people that I have been leading in discipleship. Psalm 121. Go check it out. God reminded me to get back on my side of that line, do my work, let Him do His, and not worry about the time factor. After that, I was able to relax, take what comes, often with a big sigh, but with composure for which my family is grateful, and let God be in control of it all. As far as finding the answer to this experience in a "THAT'S IT" kind of moment in the future, I doubt it. The answer is most likely the fact that just because we are Christians, and leaders in ministry to others, we are not always entitled to an easy street life experience. Look here, this is just paperwork. It isn't an eight year old girl with terminal cancer like the daughter of some friends of ours. My wife is not loosing her young life to breast cancer like my best friend's wife did last year at only 40 years old. I have not been jailed for being a Christian Evangelical like other men I have had the privilage of meeting in years past. And, we HAVE had the blessing of having Nico as part of our family since this whole thing started two years ago. So its not that bad when you think about it. All in all we are only talking about time, and how we behave in that time. For me, I am making an effort to behave like a mature Christian who honestly is depending on God to be God and do His part, of which I am glad to leave to Him and not try to do myself. It took a while to get here, but it sure is better than beating my head against the proverbial brick wall trying to do a job I am not equipped to accomplish. I've been away from my family for five and a half years and outside my country for five years. Whats a couple of months extra? Not really worth the burden of disobedient behavior and attitude. In all things and in all seasons, give praise to God and honor Him with a Christlike life.



.

Thank you so much for praying with us, we are seeing God's response!



Colonia Derqui



As you know, we've been partnering with Juan and Ramona to lead evangelical Bible studies in the small settlement of Colonia Derqui for several months now. But, our connection to Derqui goes back years. Dave helped out with a medical outreach there and as there was no evangelical church presence, the contact names were given to us to follow up. We made several trips to begin establishing relationships, but it was slow going. This is a very small settlement of fishermen with their families and they are extremely suspicious of strangers. Then, last year, we were approached by a couple we trained several years ago, Jaun and Ramona who had a burden to begin a work in Colonia Derqui, where Ramona

Eli with Juan & a surubi

grew up. This was the exciting open door we'd ALL been praying about! Last November, we hosted a communitiy wide outdoor movie night and there we met Luisa and her son Rana. While many of the people at the movie said they'd like to meet for Bible study, only Luisa opened her home to us. Weekly meetings have given many opportunities to learn more about this family as well as well as the community. The practice of witchcraft is very prevelant as is homosexuality and a flourishing drug trade.

The past couple of weeks have been discouraging because Luisa has been sick and it looked as if they were going to discontinue the meetings. Last Thursday, the team went out to visit and found Luisa home but very ill. The Criollo culture is an OUTDOOR culture, meaning that guests are entertained in the front yard rather than indoors. This cultural fact has been important for our team's witness as Rana is deeply involved in many of the seedier aspects of life. However, this week, Ramona went inside to pray with Luisa and had the chance to talk about many things: Rana's lifestyle, Luisa's visits to the local witchdoctor, the apparitions they see in the house at night, the infection in her body.... to name just a few.

After awhile, Juan went inside to look for Ramona while Dave stayed outside listening to Rana talk about how he plans to seek revenge - even murder on people who've offended or mistreated him. When Juan came out, he walked right up to Rana and said - "There's a spirit of vengance in your house. If you ever want peace, you are GOING TO HAVE TO FORGIVE." (there was no way Juan could have overheard the things Rana had been saying to David) So far, Rana's not buying it.

However, Ramona shared with David that Luisa prayed to receive Christ!

(For those of you counting, that's 20 months from first contact to first conversion - it's all on God's time table, not ours!)

Please keep praying for the people of Derqui - Luisa and Rana specifically and most definitely for David, Juan and Ramona as they seek to be light and salt in Colonia Derqui.

Pastor Hector & wife, Betty

This weekend Dave is down in Esquina teaching leaders from the Jesus, Light to the Nations Evangelical Church how to lead small group Bible studies. Friday night they had their first meeting with about 15 in attendance. Saturday morning, he was interviewed on a local radio station! Saturday, the Bible studies continue with Dave's leadership. It's very exciting to see these opportunities and be a part of God's work of reconciliation.



Nico - accidentally on purpose!



In adoption news, the social worker agrees with the psychologist's findings and is in favor of moving forward! However, she made her recommendation of the next step without reading the entire file (which is sort of understandable because the file is HUGE) and what she wants us to do has already been done! The attorney's suggestion was to make a list of all the "usual" paperwork for adoption and give it's location in our file (b/c all of the "usual" stuff has been completed since before Christmas), turn that in to the judge along with a request that she move forward with the sentencing - which will be the official signing of the guardianship papers. We submitted those requests this past Monday and hope to have the judge's response this Monday (May 23).

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

As you pray for us this week:

* Pray that the judge finds all of the paperwork in order and is willing to set a date to officially sign Nico's guardianship paperwork.

* Pray for Luisa as she begins her new life in Christ. Pray that she seeks and recognizes God's peace and comfort.

* Pray for Pastor Hector and the leadership at Jesus, Light to the Nations Evangelical Church as they determine where God is leading them to open new outreach groups.

* Pray for David as he works hard to finish this term well, it is important to help our national partners recognize their abilities and "equippedness" to carry on in our absence.

*Pray for Pastor Hector and the leaders of Jesus, Light to the Nations Evangelical church as they process the information David is teaching them and begin their new small groups.

* Pray for Eli as he prepares for this transition to the States, he has a lot of expectations. We want to help him make this as successful as possible.

* Pray that we will be sensitive to God's leadership as we follow Him.

Thank you so very much for walking with us on this journey!

Because He Calls,

Alisha,David, Eli & Nico





NEWS!

Marcela (adoption attorney) texted me this morning.  She saw on the internet this morning that our file will be published on Monday!!Basically, what this means is that the social worker has given her opinion on the psychologist´s official findings regarding Nico's birthmom, judge has read it and it is officially a legal part of our file.  On Monday, Marcela will go to the courthouse and read the social worker's report and then file a motion asking the judge to act on whatever the SW says.  Our deepest desire is that the social worker is FINALLY (21 months later) satisfied that everyone involved (bio family as well as ourselves) has Nico's best interests at heart and she is recommending that we move forward with the permanent guardianship. 

It will be hard to wait until Monday.  I'm hopeful that the report says what I want it to, but I'm prepared for her to ask for something else.  This particular SW has been incredibly nitpicky from the beginning.  Marcela says that she honestly can't think of anything else they could possibly request....but, we've thought that before. 

Dave's way down south this weekend.  The Bible study went well last night, good fellowship.  Antonio, the fella Dave is working with in Goya has found another family that wants to meet as well - on Saturday nights.  It is really neat to see God working through Antonio.  He's had a very rough couple of years and we're happy to see him holding tighter to God rather than turning away from Him.

This afternoon, David will meet with Pastor Hector in Esquina - about an hour away from Goya where Antonio lives.  Hector pastors the Jesus, Light to the Nations Evangelical Church in Esquina and has a deep burden to reach the lost; reaching out especially to men and their families.